Happy Election Day! Today is November 7th and man am I ever feeling like NOT voting. The negative campaigning and the lack of good candidates make me want to sit this one out. I got on the internet to try to compare our Senate candidates Corker and Ford, and I found nothing.

Well after a long day at work, I made it to Chinese exercise and then to vote.

Today is November 9th and I got beautified, new haircut new style, check out the picture.

Today is November 11th and I was invited to go to Nashville with Jill and Lily to the Christmas mart. We drove down and Lily said the cutest thing as we drove up Monteagle Mountain Lily said “Mom is this the Great Wall of China”. It looks a bit like a grey stone wall.

Today is November 12th and Mel did not go to church with me today. He was not feeling well. When Lily went up for children’s church she turned in a piece of paper where she had scribbled as a prayer request for Mel.

I am so excited I ordered this car seat; it looks really safe and should last for quite awhile.

Today is November 13th and I worked in the yard and raked leaves and tidied up for fall. I did a projection of dates and this is how it looked. If we get a referral at month 14 to month 18 of this wait, then we would get one anywhere between March 2007 and July 2007. This is what we see as worst case scenario right now.

Today is November 21st and we sent out Thanksgiving cards and also sent out an update on where we are in the adoption process. I will paste a copy of the letter here:

Many of you have asked where we are in our adoption process. Our paperwork (dossier) was officially logged in with the Chinese Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) on January 11, 2006, so we have officially been waiting 303 days. When we began the adoption process the waiting time averaged around 182 to 200 days. So as you can see, had nothing changed we would have traveled to China and would be home with our daughter by now.

However several things have changed…many more families than were ever expected applied to adopt a child from China in 2005. Some estimate that the CCAA received 3 times the requests they would normally receive in a year. In addition domestic adoption has increased in China, so fewer children were available for international adoption. In addition the CCAA has taken on additional duties and it takes time to work those things out. These are just a few of the reasons for the “slowdown”.

The increased wait time was somewhat unexpected by us, so it has been difficult to accept at times. In addition there have been many rumors that might indicate further increases in the wait time and in addition rumors that indicate new laws and changes that may keep our adoption from happening at all. After sorting much of this out and speaking with our agency, we still believe we will travel to China within the next year and return home with our daughter. Currently the CCAA is processing paperwork from August 9-25, 2005, so they need to get thru approximately 139 days of paperwork and then we will receive our referral picture and approximately 6-8 weeks after that we would travel to China. Based on current averages, which could increase or decrease at any time; we could receive a picture at earliest in May 2007. If you follow our website it will have updated information as the time gets closer.

To pass the time we have been gathering squares for a quilt. There is a tradition in the northern part of China of making a Bai Jia Bei, or "100 Good Wishes Quilt" to welcome and celebrate a new life. The quilt maker invites 100 people to contribute a single square patch of cloth. Much of the time, the squares were scraps from their worn clothing and it is said that the luck, energy, and good wishes of the people who wore these clothes now surrounds the child when he/she is wrapped in the quilt (for us this quilt will represent the love, support, and prayers of our friends and family). The quilt is then passed down from generation to generation. The squares, however, do not need to be from old clothing, but can be scraps or newly purchased material - anything with special meaning to you. We would love for you to send a square to add to “our daughter’s” keepsake quilt if you are able. If your kids would like to send separate squares and wishes/blessings that would be wonderful too!
If you are interested, here's what we'd need:
1) (1 - 3) 8" x 8" square(s) of 100% cotton material (washed and ironed before cutting the square to allow for shrinkage). If you send more than one square, they can be identical or different material.

2) Along with your quilt square(s) please include a "wish" which could be a prayer, poem, thoughtful quote, Bible verse, original thought, or whatever you choose, on a piece of paper or small card along with your name.

3) On this piece of paper or small card with the wish and your name, paste a small square of the fabric (can be about 1"x1") that you're sending for the quilt. This small swatch will help us to identify your fabric within the quilt. The piece of paper can be as simple or as fancy as you'd like to make it and will be kept in a scrapbook for our daughter to read. I know she will love to read the blessings from each of you and find the fabric you've contributed within the quilt. If the fabric has special meaning to you, please include that information on the paper as well.

I have enclosed a picture of some of the wishes we have received so far. It you want to participate it would be wonderful if you could send your square(s) by February 1, 2007. If you're a little late with your square(s), you may send it anyway. If we have some extra squares we may make a pillow or smaller quilt later. Some of you have already sent squares and thanks again for your heart warming wishes.
Your participation will make this a wonderful keepsake. Thank you so much!
Emily and Mel

Helpful website for following rumors on China adoption: http://www.chinaadopttalk.com

Happy Thanksgiving 2006! We are thankful for so many things, but mostly for each other and for our soon to be daughter…”ladybug”. This year we got up very early and had Thanksgiving breakfast southern style…grits included. Then we gathered ourselves and drove to Abingdon, VA for our annual gathering to begin the Christmas season. This year like last we met up with Beverly, Stan and Abigail.

We started this tradition in 2003 when our hearts were struggling to be thankful. We had just lost our first baby through miscarriage at 12 weeks. We had Thanksgiving dinner quietly at home and then the day after we drove to Abingdon, VA and on the way the snow started falling, it was so nice to get away from the everyday life that had been grief filled for the previous 6 weeks and we had a beautiful time.

Then in 2004 we had our plans to leave for Abingdon the day after Thanksgiving in hopes of having a relaxing continuation of the holiday. Since I was 5 months pregnant at the time, we weren’t sure when we might get back up to Abingdon. Instead we ended up at Erlanger Hospital and Martin Dean was delivered at 5 months, just too soon to survive. Needless to say we were devastated.

In the summer of 2005 we talked about how we might spend our Thanksgiving holiday and we again wanted to return to Abingdon, however we also wanted to gather with friends and family and celebrate all that we have to be thankful for. The Sunday prior to Thanksgiving 2005 we celebrated with 50 or so family and friends at our home. Then on Thanksgiving Day Mel and I celebrated together and burned candles for the children we had lost and for the children that one day we will have. The day after we picked up our niece Colleen and we met up with Beverly, Stan and Abigail and had a lovely extension of the Thanksgiving holiday.

If I had known last Thanksgiving that “ladybug” would not be with us this Thanksgiving, I am not sure I could have put one foot in front of the other, but we have made it and she is not with us in physical presence, but she is in our heart and hardly a moment passes that we don’t talk about our upcoming trip to China and how our lives will be forever changed by this dear gift. As we ate Thanksgiving dinner and spoke about what we are thankful for, we spoke of “ladybug” and the opportunity to become a family. This wait has been soooooo long, but it has been a true journey, in allowing our hearts to heal from the loss of 2 dear children and at the same time, the dream of a special baby girl in China giving us hope and allowing us to dream again and to be THANKFUL.

Today, November 24th we got up early and went for a brisk walk. I returned to the room early to get ready for breakfast. Our room is fabulous; it is large and would be perfect even with a crib.

At breakfast and lunch today we talked about how we would like to gather here again next year and how it might be different. Of course for each of us different is anticipated and brings about such excitement. We can’t wait to experience all that we know and love with our dear daughter. We also look forward to “ladybug” spending time with Abigail, who will be her “Jie Jie”, older sister. They will share the “sisterhood” of their motherland and the “sisterhood” of being chosen for their family. It is our hope that they will share a special bond.

We went to see “Jacob Marley’s Christmas” at Stage II. It was not my favorite of all the shows we have seen. The casting seemed a bit off and it didn’t move very well. We did go to the movie again tonight, we saw “Deck the Halls” a nice hilarious Holiday movie. Mel thought it was too predictable, but it was really funny and cute.

Today is November 25th and I passed on the walk, but Stan and Mel enjoyed a beautiful morning for a walk. We all met for breakfast which is complimentary. They serve a continental style as well as a choice of 3 hot meals. The hot meals include southern style grits that are just scrumptious. We shopped and the men and Abigail watched the Tennessee verses Kentucky game and then we all went to see “It’s a Wonderful Life”. We all thoroughly enjoyed this play. It was done well and the characters were cast well and it was just enjoyable. We enjoyed “high tea”, and then got ready for a wonderful dinner.

Today is Sunday November 26th and we are headed home. What an enjoyable time we have had with Abigail and her parents Beverly and Stan. We just had such good fellowship and laughter and conversation. Mel needed to get back to study for his class, so we had breakfast early and then hit the road. We made very good time and stopped briefly for a “coffee fix”/ Starbucks for Mel and I enjoyed a hot chocolate. We were going to stop and walk in Sequoia Hills, but the traffic was so bad we just wanted to get home.

The kitties were very glad to see us and just drowned us both with affection and meows. I put a roast on and Mel read the paper. We had a relaxing afternoon and later I ventured to the attic to bring down a few Christmas goodies. I was able to put up the Christmas wreaths on the windows and the candles in the windows.

We are going to have an “abbreviated” Christmas in that there is nothing really that we want or need in regard to material things other than a video camera for China and luggage. Other than that, we just want our referral picture and then we want to travel. Last year we had gifts for ladybug and really thought by this Christmas we would be home with her, it didn’t occur to us that we would still be waiting.

Back to work after several days off. Happy Monday, November 27th! Today was hectic like most Mondays, but more so because of the holiday weekend. During my lunch I rearranged the Great Room and dusted and vacuumed in preparation of putting the tree up.

We were both tired so we hit the sack early. I had a bit of a headache almost like a migraine coming on.

Today is November 28th and I was up most of the night with some kind of crud. It started as a major headache and then I couldn’t stand to see light or hear sound and I got dizzy and sick at my stomach. I finally was able to get back to sleep around 3 am. I still did not feel well at 7 am and tried to work, but was just so sick. I was back in bed by 8:30 and stayed there all day. I was not able to eat and only tolerated water and a little Sprite. About 6 pm Mel came home and I got up and felt somewhat better and ate just a little. I still feel like I could get that headache again and it would all be back.

Today is November 29th and I am feeling ready for referrals.

“Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.” ~Rilke

Today is November 30th and referrals are here. The CCAA site says:
The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before January 31, 2006.
The CCAA has finished the placement of children for families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before September 8, 2005.

Well if you can do the math that is 14 stinking days. Don’t get me wrong they are moving forward, but man it would be nice if they did 25 days or even 20 days at a time. At this rate…14 days, with an LID of 1/11/06, we would not get a referral for 8.92 months which would be…late July or early August 2007. Someone send me some “antidepressants” it surely won’t be that long.

I had the craziest dream last night which I think was brought on by a purchase of this little bear like pacifier holder. I had commented to Mel about what I had bought and he thought maybe our child would be too old for a pacifier. I told him I thought it was better for a child to have a pacifier than suck on their thumb and that a pacifier can be comforting even to a young toddler. I had read in a few bonding books that pacifiers are okay. Anyway in my dream… Mel and I were in China together, but I am not sure how we got there. There were 4 buses and for some reason we both had diaper bags and we were put on 2 different buses. We did not have referral pictures but we thought we might get 1 or 2 children. When the buses stopped I got out to look for Mel and he had a little boy with him. A tiny infant boy who was very strong. It was so funny to me that somehow Mel had been given this little boy and I was not even there, we didn’t even have a boy name picked out. I asked to hold the little guy and noticed how hungry he was. Mel had prepared a bottle but had not given it yet. Mel tested it to make sure it was not too hot and I gave it. He for sure was starving because he sucked down in no time. I then noticed for some reason the baby had no diaper on. Mel remarked as if it was just normal “yeah he has already peed on me.” Somehow I woke up and was just flabber gasted at how real the dream was and went back to sleep to see what else occurred and was not able to continue the dream. How funny is that…while the CCAA was updating their site with referral news I was dreaming about a little boy in China that became ours? Do you suppose I may have had a little too much chocolate before bed?

We got a package from Margie today with lots of goodies in it, and a special t-shirt with an Asian angel on it. I wore it to the grocery and several people commented on how cute it is.