Happy Election Day! Today is November 7th
and man am I ever feeling like NOT voting.
The negative campaigning and the lack of
good candidates make me want to sit this one
out. I got on the internet to try to compare
our Senate candidates Corker and Ford, and I
found nothing.
Well after a long day at work, I made it to
Chinese exercise and then to vote.
Today is November 9th and I got beautified,
new haircut new style, check out the
picture.
Today is November 11th and I was invited to
go to Nashville with Jill and Lily to the
Christmas mart. We drove down and Lily said
the cutest thing as we drove up Monteagle
Mountain Lily said “Mom is this the Great
Wall of China”. It looks a bit like a grey
stone wall.
Today is November 12th and Mel did not go to
church with me today. He was not feeling
well. When Lily went up for children’s
church she turned in a piece of paper where
she had scribbled as a prayer request for
Mel.
I am so excited I ordered this car seat; it
looks really safe and should last for quite
awhile.
Today is November 13th and I worked in the
yard and raked leaves and tidied up for
fall. I did a projection of dates and this
is how it looked. If we get a referral at
month 14 to month 18 of this wait, then we
would get one anywhere between March 2007
and July 2007. This is what we see as worst
case scenario right now.
Today is November 21st and we sent out
Thanksgiving cards and also sent out an
update on where we are in the adoption
process. I will paste a copy of the letter
here:
Many of you have asked where we are in our
adoption process. Our paperwork (dossier)
was officially logged in with the Chinese
Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) on January
11, 2006, so we have officially been waiting
303 days. When we began the adoption process
the waiting time averaged around 182 to 200
days. So as you can see, had nothing changed
we would have traveled to China and would be
home with our daughter by now.
However several things have changed…many
more families than were ever expected
applied to adopt a child from China in 2005.
Some estimate that the CCAA received 3 times
the requests they would normally receive in
a year. In addition domestic adoption has
increased in China, so fewer children were
available for international adoption. In
addition the CCAA has taken on additional
duties and it takes time to work those
things out. These are just a few of the
reasons for the “slowdown”.
The increased wait time was somewhat
unexpected by us, so it has been difficult
to accept at times. In addition there have
been many rumors that might indicate further
increases in the wait time and in addition
rumors that indicate new laws and changes
that may keep our adoption from happening at
all. After sorting much of this out and
speaking with our agency, we still believe
we will travel to China within the next year
and return home with our daughter. Currently
the CCAA is processing paperwork from August
9-25, 2005, so they need to get thru
approximately 139 days of paperwork and then
we will receive our referral picture and
approximately 6-8 weeks after that we would
travel to China. Based on current averages,
which could increase or decrease at any
time; we could receive a picture at earliest
in May 2007. If you follow our website it
will have updated information as the time
gets closer.
To pass the time we have been gathering
squares for a quilt. There is a tradition in
the northern part of China of making a Bai
Jia Bei, or "100 Good Wishes Quilt" to
welcome and celebrate a new life. The quilt
maker invites 100 people to contribute a
single square patch of cloth. Much of the
time, the squares were scraps from their
worn clothing and it is said that the luck,
energy, and good wishes of the people who
wore these clothes now surrounds the child
when he/she is wrapped in the quilt (for us
this quilt will represent the love, support,
and prayers of our friends and family). The
quilt is then passed down from generation to
generation. The squares, however, do not
need to be from old clothing, but can be
scraps or newly purchased material -
anything with special meaning to you. We
would love for you to send a square to add
to “our daughter’s” keepsake quilt if you
are able. If your kids would like to send
separate squares and wishes/blessings that
would be wonderful too!
If you are interested, here's what we'd
need:
1) (1 - 3) 8" x 8" square(s) of 100% cotton
material (washed and ironed before cutting
the square to allow for shrinkage). If you
send more than one square, they can be
identical or different material.
2) Along with your quilt square(s) please
include a "wish" which could be a prayer,
poem, thoughtful quote, Bible verse,
original thought, or whatever you choose, on
a piece of paper or small card along with
your name.
3) On this piece of paper or small card with
the wish and your name, paste a small square
of the fabric (can be about 1"x1") that
you're sending for the quilt. This small
swatch will help us to identify your fabric
within the quilt. The piece of paper can be
as simple or as fancy as you'd like to make
it and will be kept in a scrapbook for our
daughter to read. I know she will love to
read the blessings from each of you and find
the fabric you've contributed within the
quilt. If the fabric has special meaning to
you, please include that information on the
paper as well.
I have enclosed a picture of some of the
wishes we have received so far. It you want
to participate it would be wonderful if you
could send your square(s) by February 1,
2007. If you're a little late with your
square(s), you may send it anyway. If we
have some extra squares we may make a pillow
or smaller quilt later. Some of you have
already sent squares and thanks again for
your heart warming wishes.
Your participation will make this a
wonderful keepsake. Thank you so much!
Emily and Mel
Helpful website for following rumors on
China adoption: http://www.chinaadopttalk.com
Happy Thanksgiving 2006! We are thankful for
so many things, but mostly for each other
and for our soon to be daughter…”ladybug”.
This year we got up very early and had
Thanksgiving breakfast southern style…grits
included. Then we gathered ourselves and
drove to Abingdon, VA for our annual
gathering to begin the Christmas season.
This year like last we met up with Beverly,
Stan and Abigail.
We started this tradition in 2003 when our
hearts were struggling to be thankful. We
had just lost our first baby through
miscarriage at 12 weeks. We had Thanksgiving
dinner quietly at home and then the day
after we drove to Abingdon, VA and on the
way the snow started falling, it was so nice
to get away from the everyday life that had
been grief filled for the previous 6 weeks
and we had a beautiful time.
Then in 2004 we had our plans to leave for
Abingdon the day after Thanksgiving in hopes
of having a relaxing continuation of the
holiday. Since I was 5 months pregnant at
the time, we weren’t sure when we might get
back up to Abingdon. Instead we ended up at
Erlanger Hospital and Martin Dean was
delivered at 5 months, just too soon to
survive. Needless to say we were devastated.
In the summer of 2005 we talked about how we
might spend our Thanksgiving holiday and we
again wanted to return to Abingdon, however
we also wanted to gather with friends and
family and celebrate all that we have to be
thankful for. The Sunday prior to
Thanksgiving 2005 we celebrated with 50 or
so family and friends at our home. Then on
Thanksgiving Day Mel and I celebrated
together and burned candles for the children
we had lost and for the children that one
day we will have. The day after we picked up
our niece Colleen and we met up with
Beverly, Stan and Abigail and had a lovely
extension of the Thanksgiving holiday.
If I had known last Thanksgiving that
“ladybug” would not be with us this
Thanksgiving, I am not sure I could have put
one foot in front of the other, but we have
made it and she is not with us in physical
presence, but she is in our heart and hardly
a moment passes that we don’t talk about our
upcoming trip to China and how our lives
will be forever changed by this dear gift.
As we ate Thanksgiving dinner and spoke
about what we are thankful for, we spoke of
“ladybug” and the opportunity to become a
family. This wait has been soooooo long, but
it has been a true journey, in allowing our
hearts to heal from the loss of 2 dear
children and at the same time, the dream of
a special baby girl in China giving us hope
and allowing us to dream again and to be
THANKFUL.
Today, November 24th we got up early and
went for a brisk walk. I returned to the
room early to get ready for breakfast. Our
room is fabulous; it is large and would be
perfect even with a crib.
At breakfast and lunch today we talked about
how we would like to gather here again next
year and how it might be different. Of
course for each of us different is
anticipated and brings about such
excitement. We can’t wait to experience all
that we know and love with our dear
daughter. We also look forward to “ladybug”
spending time with Abigail, who will be her
“Jie Jie”, older sister. They will share the
“sisterhood” of their motherland and the
“sisterhood” of being chosen for their
family. It is our hope that they will share
a special bond.
We went to see “Jacob Marley’s Christmas” at
Stage II. It was not my favorite of all the
shows we have seen. The casting seemed a bit
off and it didn’t move very well. We did go
to the movie again tonight, we saw “Deck the
Halls” a nice hilarious Holiday movie. Mel
thought it was too predictable, but it was
really funny and cute.
Today is November 25th and I passed on the
walk, but Stan and Mel enjoyed a beautiful
morning for a walk. We all met for breakfast
which is complimentary. They serve a
continental style as well as a choice of 3
hot meals. The hot meals include southern
style grits that are just scrumptious. We
shopped and the men and Abigail watched the
Tennessee verses Kentucky game and then we
all went to see “It’s a Wonderful Life”. We
all thoroughly enjoyed this play. It was
done well and the characters were cast well
and it was just enjoyable. We enjoyed “high
tea”, and then got ready for a wonderful
dinner.
Today is Sunday November 26th and we are
headed home. What an enjoyable time we have
had with Abigail and her parents Beverly and
Stan. We just had such good fellowship and
laughter and conversation. Mel needed to get
back to study for his class, so we had
breakfast early and then hit the road. We
made very good time and stopped briefly for
a “coffee fix”/ Starbucks for Mel and I
enjoyed a hot chocolate. We were going to
stop and walk in Sequoia Hills, but the
traffic was so bad we just wanted to get
home.
The kitties were very glad to see us and
just drowned us both with affection and
meows. I put a roast on and Mel read the
paper. We had a relaxing afternoon and later
I ventured to the attic to bring down a few
Christmas goodies. I was able to put up the
Christmas wreaths on the windows and the
candles in the windows.
We are going to have an “abbreviated”
Christmas in that there is nothing really
that we want or need in regard to material
things other than a video camera for China
and luggage. Other than that, we just want
our referral picture and then we want to
travel. Last year we had gifts for ladybug
and really thought by this Christmas we
would be home with her, it didn’t occur to
us that we would still be waiting.
Back to work after several days off. Happy
Monday, November 27th! Today was hectic like
most Mondays, but more so because of the
holiday weekend. During my lunch I
rearranged the Great Room and dusted and
vacuumed in preparation of putting the tree
up.
We were both tired so we hit the sack early.
I had a bit of a headache almost like a
migraine coming on.
Today is November 28th and I was up most of
the night with some kind of crud. It started
as a major headache and then I couldn’t
stand to see light or hear sound and I got
dizzy and sick at my stomach. I finally was
able to get back to sleep around 3 am. I
still did not feel well at 7 am and tried to
work, but was just so sick. I was back in
bed by 8:30 and stayed there all day. I was
not able to eat and only tolerated water and
a little Sprite. About 6 pm Mel came home
and I got up and felt somewhat better and
ate just a little. I still feel like I could
get that headache again and it would all be
back.
Today is November 29th and I am feeling
ready for referrals.
“Have patience with everything unresolved in
your heart and try to love the questions
themselves.” ~Rilke
Today is November 30th and referrals are
here. The CCAA site says:
The CCAA has finished the review of the
adoption application documents registered
with our office before January 31, 2006.
The CCAA has finished the placement of
children for families whose adoption
application documents were registered with
our office before September 8, 2005.
Well if you can do the math that is 14
stinking days. Don’t get me wrong they are
moving forward, but man it would be nice if
they did 25 days or even 20 days at a time.
At this rate…14 days, with an LID of
1/11/06, we would not get a referral for
8.92 months which would be…late July or
early August 2007. Someone send me some
“antidepressants” it surely won’t be that
long.
I had the craziest dream last night which I
think was brought on by a purchase of this
little bear like pacifier holder. I had
commented to Mel about what I had bought and
he thought maybe our child would be too old
for a pacifier. I told him I thought it was
better for a child to have a pacifier than
suck on their thumb and that a pacifier can
be comforting even to a young toddler. I had
read in a few bonding books that pacifiers
are okay. Anyway in my dream… Mel and I were
in China together, but I am not sure how we
got there. There were 4 buses and for some
reason we both had diaper bags and we were
put on 2 different buses. We did not have
referral pictures but we thought we might
get 1 or 2 children. When the buses stopped
I got out to look for Mel and he had a
little boy with him. A tiny infant boy who
was very strong. It was so funny to me that
somehow Mel had been given this little boy
and I was not even there, we didn’t even
have a boy name picked out. I asked to hold
the little guy and noticed how hungry he
was. Mel had prepared a bottle but had not
given it yet. Mel tested it to make sure it
was not too hot and I gave it. He for sure
was starving because he sucked down in no
time. I then noticed for some reason the
baby had no diaper on. Mel remarked as if it
was just normal “yeah he has already peed on
me.” Somehow I woke up and was just flabber
gasted at how real the dream was and went
back to sleep to see what else occurred and
was not able to continue the dream. How
funny is that…while the CCAA was updating
their site with referral news I was dreaming
about a little boy in China that became
ours? Do you suppose I may have had a little
too much chocolate before bed?
We got a package from Margie today with lots
of goodies in it, and a special t-shirt with
an Asian angel on it. I wore it to the
grocery and several people commented on how
cute it is.
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